I still love HIM
by twilight81386
Summary: The hardest thing she will ever have to do is admit that he never loved her...  WARNING: Dark Themes...OOC
1. Chapter 1

**_Story Disclaimer: Story Belongs to Stephanie, I just manipulated the Characters_**

**_I wrote the characters without names, because that is just how the story spoke to me. The characters are described the same physically, but personality but characters ore definitely OOC. Hope you enjoy it. _**

**_Warning: This story does contain Violence and rape. _**

**_See you at the bottom. _**

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_My heart broke as I watched him_ walk out that door. I knew that this would be the last time I would ever see _him_ again. _He_ was my life, my love, my soul mate. We were in love; madly, deeply in love. There had been a time when you couldn't keep us apart. That was in the beginning, but that all changed the day she moved next door to us. Her silky strawberry blonde hair, her supermodel body, with legs that drove on for miles she was the complete cliché of a sexy women; and the complete opposite of me.

I'm just a plain old small town girl; my dull brown eyes, my brown hair - with unnatural curls which have a mind of their own - is frizzy and hard to style so most of the time I wear it in a pony tail. That was after I met _him_. Before _him_ my hair had acted as a shield, it helped to make me feel protected. There was nothing special about my body I was skinny but I didn't have her body. My legs didn't run for miles, they ran for blocks.

I guess I should have seen it coming after all, someone as beautiful as _him_ doesn't stick around with someone like me. Deep down I knew all this but _he_ became my sole reason for breathing, for eating, for sleeping and I was selfish. I didn't want _him_ to leave, and by some miracle _he_ wanted me when _he_ did. I can't bring myself to regret being with _him_. We had seven wonderful years together, so I guess you could call me a masochist if you like.

I knew _he_ was seeing her behind my back, I could smell her perfume when _he_ walked through the door. I could smell the strong musty scent of sex. _He_ didn't even have the decency clean _himself_ of her, especially considering she lived next door to us.

_He_ thought I was stupid and that I didn't know what was going on. I did, but I never said anything. Instead I tried to bring us closer together; I think I drove us farther apart.

All I wanted was the old _him_ back. The old _him_ would never strike me; the old _him_ would never yell at me and the old _him_ would never call me horrible, indescribable names. The old _him_ would never leave me.

I was your typical high school student living in a small town where everyone knows everyone. Naturally I took after my father and hated being the center of attention. But being the daughter of someone as prestigious as my father, it's hard for one to go by unnoticed. Even though my father was well known he hated that once he walked into a room all eyes were on him.

I was taught strong values as a child and I stuck with them even when my parents separated. I lived with my mother for five years before returning back to my father.

I was not the type of girl to give herself fully to her partner. Though I only had two boyfriends before him.

My first boyfriend, I guess you could call him that was a lost soul looking for a place in this world. He followed me around relentlessly and would pester me. At first glance he was cute but the longer he stayed around, the more annoying he became and his cuteness diminished. He had continually asked me to go out on one date with him and because I didn't want to be mean and turn him down I agreed to do so.

To say the date was fun would be a lie; he took me to a secluded club outside of our little town. I didn't think we would be able to get in, but he said that he had "connections". At first I didn't believe him, but I soon began to realize that he was telling the truth. It was dark and grimy and reeked of alcohol and weed. For the most part of the date I stayed quiet I wanted to go home, but every time I would ask him he would tell me not to be a 'buzz kill'.

It was when we were left alone in a room by ourselves, that he pushed himself on me. I had never been kissed before, let alone touched in my most intimate places. I screamed and cried. He never did get to do what he wanted to do that night, I was safe. All because of _him_.

_He_ had rescued me from my attacker; I had recognized _him _from school _he_ was the silent but deadly type. People shied away from _him_. _He_ was a brooder, kept to himself for the most part; but _he_ was beautiful. Standing next Aphrodite _he_ could give her a run for her money.

_He_ never did say anything to me that night _he_ called a cab, paid for the fare and that was it. I tried to thank _him _but _he_ silenced me by holding _his_ hand up. _He_ was visibly mad and I was concerned that _he_ may be mad at me.

_He_ had never frightened me, even though others kids at school were scared. If anything there was something about _him_ that intrigued me. Returning home I asked my father, about _him_ and _his_ family.

They were fairly new, by two years as was I. Only they had an extra year on me. There were rumors spread about the family that increased the student's fear of _him_ at school. My father said not to pay attention to the rumors as they were lies, spread for gossip because the residents of our town were bored.

That was the very first night that I dreamt of _him_. The dreams never stopped, they were rather embarrassing dreams might I add. But I loved every second of it.

_He_ never said one word to me. Neither had that sick excuse of a puppy. I imagine his ego was hurt, as well as his face and probably his intimate regions.

I noticed that most days _he_ would stare at me; at first I thought it was my imagination, until my 'friends' pointed it out. As I would look back I expected _him_ to avert his eyes but _he_ never did. We would just stare at each other as if having a private conversation. As if we understood each other. Truth was _he_ confused me; _he _had saved me but refused to talk to me. _He_ would stare at me, but never looked away. Our staring 'contests' were weird at first but I got used to it, in fact I couldn't wait for the next day to come so I could look at his lovely shade of emerald green eyes.

The months had passed and I had grown familiar with our 'game' as I liked to call it. As if on command our eyes would lock. Until one day _he_ just stopped looking at me. I thought that I had done something wrong. I thought back to all of our silent encounters, but there was nothing. _He_ stayed out of my way and much to my dismay I stayed out of his.

The moment _he_ looked away I felt the tears well up, but I never did get to shed those tears. Because from the corner of my eye I spotted a monster of a boy with long black hair, dark, russet skin and I knew who it was right away.

He was my best friend, our fathers used to fish together leaving us to play in the mud with each another. When I had to move away with my mother we hadn't stayed in touch because I never had the time, mostly due to the fact that my mom always had something new up her sleeve.

He had enrolled in my school, because his school was being taken over by a gang of students who thought they owned this town. For his safety his father transferred him. It was one of the best days of my life. Though he was my best friend we had a lot of catching up to do, considering the last time I seen him was when I was 12.

Our relationship blossomed, and we soon became inseparable, but I knew he wanted more; more that I couldn't give him. For my heart was in another place. It was with _him_.

Every now and then I would look at _him_. But _he_ always had _his_ head down. Much to the dismay of my broken heart.

My best friend knew of my love for _him_ and despised _him_ for it. There were occasions where I would hear growls erupt from his chest if I was to so much as look _his_ way. He would clench his fists and his eyes would darken, he was frightening but I was never afraid. I knew he would never hurt me for he was my friend. My best friend.

Over the summer, due to my clumsy nature I visited the hospital on many occasions. I quickly learned more than half the staff's name. I knew _his_ father would be there and at first I would protest in fear I would see _him_. I did not want to look like a clumsy moron in _his_ presence.

It was one of the worst accidents that I had gotten into. I had coaxed my best friend into teaching me to ride a motorcycle. That plan did not turn out so well. I cut my forehead and blood was dripping down my face and I fainted. For the mere sight of that toxic waste makes me faint

I don't remember much about that day, but I do remember waking up upon entering the hospital doors, it was then that I heard _his_ velvety voice. I don't remember seeing _him_, I don't remember what happen next. But I do remember kissing _him_, before going into surgery.

I had thought things had changed, between me and _him_. The following month was the start of our senior year and I was thrilled, I thought we would have a chance to be together. If not forever then at least for that year.

I was so happy when I walked into Bio 102 that day; _he_ was sitting there and there was only one seat left. Luckily for me it was next to _him_.

When _he_ finally noticed me _his_ whole body went rigid and _he_ was tense. Right away I knew nothing had changed, I desperately wanted it to but nothing had. _He_ rushed out of the class so fast that day I could barely even register the movement. I never had the courage to tell _him_ what I wanted and how I felt, because I was too afraid of rejection. I had felt enough of that from _him_ already, I did not want to be publicly humiliated.

My best friend asked me out that year, my heart still belonged to another but I knew there was no hope for us. _He_ and I were never meant to be. So I owed it to myself to at least try, I owed it to my best friend and I owed it to _him_.

He was always a gentleman on dates he never pressured me for anything. Our relationship as a couple grew as we grew. I had loved him as a friend and I was beginning to love him as an equal.

Our physical relationship never progressed to anything further than kisses and small touches. He never pressured me, but I knew he wanted more than I could give. He would become frustrated with me, and tension would grow between us. As fast as that tension grew it was as faster in its disappearance.

Until one day he became drunk at a house party. I had known he was drunk and that I should have left him and saw him the next day, but he said he just wanted to hold me so he could sleep, and I complied. My heart beat fast anticipating the worst. My gut was telling me to leave and go home. But I wanted to comfort him; I needed to comfort him for all the pain I caused him.

He knew that even though I was beginning to love him, my heart still belonged to _him_. He was beginning to resent me for it.

At first the kisses where light and sweet, then they turned into the lust filled kisses that I had grown to learn only meant he wanted more. This was when I would start telling him to stop. This time though he didn't stop, his kisses just grew darker and more possessive. He was hurting me, and while I cried out in pain, he whispered words like 'I'll make you love me' and 'we were meant to be'.

Then his words became hateful as he took my innocence from me, 'You're a slut, for loving someone other than me', 'I hate you' and 'you make me sick'. He didn't care about the pain that the first time brings, or from the pain of his hand covering my mouth preventing me from screaming, he didn't care about the tears that rolled down my face, but more importantly he didn't care about me.

I never thought that this was how my first time would be, forced just as my first kiss. I hated him, I hated myself, and I hated _him_ for not wanting me the way I wanted _him_.

When he was finished with me, I heard the sound of his zipper and he left the room, but not before saying. 'Clean yourself up, you stupid slut'. That was the last time I had seen him.

I wanted to tell someone about what had happened. I wanted my mom, I wanted to tell my dad to arrest him, but most importantly I wanted _him_. But _he_ was not here, _he_ never was.

The next morning, my dad woke me up and very calmly told me that he was in a motorcycling accident. He was drunk; they had found a gun in his pocket and he was on his way up to see _him_. But he never made it; he had crashed in _his_ driveway and had died on site. It was then that my father noticed the bruises that were present on my wrists, and my now swollen lip completing the look with a black eye. Then he demanded to know what happen. I was too ashamed to tell him the truth, so I looked away down to my lap and nodded when my father got the correct answer. My father went in for a hug but I flinched, I had seen the hurt in my father's eyes that day, and I promised myself that I would never let that happen again.

I had lost so many things that day.

I lost my innocence.

I lost my best friend.

I lost my boyfriend.

I lost my love.

I lost my heart.

I lost my freedom, because I was stuck in a losing battle with my mind.

I lost my hope.

I lost _him_.

I was numb this was my entire fault, if I would have just left when I had known I should have none of this would have happened. We would be holding hands, sitting in the sand on the beach.

I tried to tell everyone my mom, my dad, the doctors but they all said that this was not my fault. After a while I just stopped saying it, I just agreed with them because I knew that was what they wanted to hear.

School became harder and harder, word got around about what happened, everyone had added their own twists on the facts. For the most part I ignored them, I ignored them all. I made sure my grades did not slip, because I was afraid my father would be disappointed in me. I talked to no one, not even the teachers except when they called on me. During lunch I was either in the bathroom or on occasion sat alone in the cafeteria. I hated the cafeteria because being in that room I felt like an animal in the zoo. I very rarely ate anything and lost a lot of weight. But I barely noticed, until my father said that I needed to start eating again or he would send me to live with my mother. So only in front of my dad would I pretend to eat, I couldn't worry him more than I already had.

Most days I wondered how my life would have been different had my best friend never came to my school or if I had stayed with my mother. I did wonder about _him_ but

I no longer had hope for _him_. I knew there was no chance, I covered my face with my hair to shield me from all the stares, and I hoped one day the pain would be gone.

Then out of nowhere, before the second bell rang, I felt _him_. _He_ tucked the strands of hair behind my ear before he spoke low so only I could hear. "Don't hide, _please_ don't hide from me"

That was all _he_ had to say and I collapsed. I hadn't cried since that day, I didn't have it in me. Those words were the first words _he_ had ever said to me; they weren't words of pity, remorse, amusement or concern. They were words straight from his heart.

I fell into his arms and sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed until I couldn't cry anymore. I don't remember moving, but when I looked up we were in a meadow. It was beautiful; there were flowers that adorned every color imaginable. The most beautiful thing however that I had saw that day, was the man that I was hugging next to me. I looked into _his_ eyes while _he_ was looking into mine. The same as we had all those months ago, I found comfort, I felt safe and I felt loved.

I closed my eyes and squeezed _him_ tighter than I thought possible. I curled up into _his_ side holding onto him for dear life. I was afraid _he_ would disappear, as if _he_ was a mirage.

"I'm not leaving you, not ever."

I didn't say anything even though I had so much to ask, I couldn't find it in me to speak.

"I'm sorry love; I shouldn't have left you like that. This is my fault, if I would have manned up and told you how I felt this never would have happened."

"This-" but _he_ never let me finish.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of; you were the prey for a predator, one who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. I never did like him, but you were never mine to protect. I've loved you since the first day I saw you walk through those school doors. I knew that I was no good for you and so I stayed away from you, only keeping our stares, like our own private affair. But the day that _dog _came I knew you would be his, so I watched from afar. He always had this possessive stare over you and I knew he was bad, but there was nothing that I could do. I tried to stay away I really did, but I can't do it anymore. I love you, I want you to be mine and I yours."

"W-Why would y-you s-ay your no good for me?" _He_ never did answer me that day, or the next day or the next day. The days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, months turned to years. Until I just stopped asking altogether.

The day after the meadow we were inseparable; there was never a day where we weren't with each other. My mom thought it was unhealthy, that we were too dependent on one another; I understood her point, I really did. But when I told _him_, _he_ told me that she was just jealous of our relationship and would do anything to break us apart.

I believed _him_, the more _he_ told me this and the more I heard my mother tell me that our relationship was not healthy, I agreed with _him_. _He_ told me I should stay away from her so we could keep our relationship pure. I was reluctant after all she was my mother, but days went by without letters. Then the phone calls stopped and eventually the visits stopped as well.

It was my father that wanted me to end the relationship. He told me that my personality changed once I was with _him_. I was never the same person. My father told me to let _him_ go so I could find myself once again and be the little girl that he knew and loved.

_He_ had heard this conversation one day and demanded that I choose between _him_ and my father. It was hard because I loved my father; he had meant everything to me before _him_. But in the end I chose _him_, there was no competition really.

I never had friends; _he_ told me that other people would try to destroy what we had, the purity of what we had. So I listened mostly because I loved _him_ as _he_ had loved me and I was more than happy to give _him_ what _he_ wanted.

_He_ never pressured me into being physical. Though I knew _he_ wanted more, I was not ready to be that way with anyone. Until one day something changed in me and I wanted more, I wanted to give _him_ more.

_He _was gentle, sweet, kind and _he_ took his time. _He_ had made it pleasurable for us both. It was then that I knew _he_ really did love me.

We both loved each other, there was no doubt about it, I could see it in HIS eyes when he would look at me. HE made me fell beautiful. We talked about marriage, I wanted it, but HE said that it was a waste of time, and what we had with each other was so much more. So I dropped the issue, because if HE was happy than so was I.

When we found our apartment we were so happy. _He_ would come home from work, I would have the food ready, and we would talk about our day, watch some television, make love and cuddle in each other's arms. It was pure bliss.

Then she moved across the hall. I had seen the way _he_ had looked at her but I ignored it, I thought I was paranoid. _He_ helped her bring her boxes up. Days went by before she asked _him_ to help set up her cable, then it was hanging things up, fixing her toilet, her sink, her television. Every time _he_ would go and every time he would come back later then the last time.

_He_ started coming home late from work, so I had confronted _him_ with it and _he_ blamed me for not having a clean home. So I cleaned and cleaned until my fingers bled, I cleaned so much you could smell the strong scent of lemon in the apartment. I didn't want _him_ to smell the strong scent for _he_ had a sensitive nose, so I opened the windows and when that didn't help I opened the apartment door.

I could hear things being moved around across the corridor in her apartment, things being bumped into. Then I heard the moans and groans. It was then that I knew what she was doing. I was embarrassed because they were so loud. I wondered if anyone else could hear them. I was about to shut the door when I heard her say _his_ name over and over again. I had thought it was my imagination, but then I heard _him_ say her name and I knew it was the truth.

I put the pieces together; he was always coming home late, leaving earlier in the mornings, we stopped making love and eating together. _He_ still came home every night and we would cuddle under the blankets, I felt safe and at home. I didn't want _him_ to be with her but I knew if I said anything _he_ would leave me. That was something that I could not face, so I stayed quiet.

Until one day I came home from grocery shopping and walked into our room. The blankets were scattered, and the whole room stunk. I heard the bathroom shower running. It was too early for _him_ to be home from work and when _he_ stepped out of the shower drying _his_ hair _he_ looked at me wide-eyed. I was happy to see _him_, but there was something different about _him_. Something that I didn't like. I went to go and hug _him_, when I noticed bruises on _his_ neck and chest; it wasn't until I got closer to _him_ that I realized it was not a bruise but a hickey. I turned my head away so _he_ wouldn't see the tears welling up in my eyes. I noticed in the corner of the room lingerie that did not belong to me. I turned to look back at _him_ and I saw her standing behind _him_, with just as much of a shock expression on her face as _his_.

I had started for the door when _he_ grabbed my wrist. _He_ told her to leave and when she did _he_ hit my face, asking me why I was home.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" _He_ yelled, I was too stunned to answer _his_ question and the stinging in my face did not help matters.

"I asked you a fucking question! God your such a dumb bitch! I hate you so much, it's not even funny. I don't understand you, you weren't supposed to be here for another hour, and you have just fucked everything up. Now I need to leave clean this mess up."

_He_ threw me on the floor and left. I was left there to clean _his_ mess that _he_ had made with her. While _he_ went to be with her. I cried and cried; I wanted to talk to someone, anyone but I didn't know anyone. _He _had forced them all out of my life, I wanted my mom, my dad. I wanted my best friend from all those years ago.

I got up off the floor tired of crying and did what I was told; I changed the sheets, washed the dirty ones, and cleaned the bathroom as well.

That night _he_ forced himself on me. _He_ was no longer the old _him_, but a mean and heartless version of his old self. I cried and cried but that did nothing to stop what _he_ was doing.

After that night I found them together on more than one occasion and the same procedure would begin. I would be smacked, I would clean the mess and then _he_ would force himself on me.

I knew that I should have said something; I knew I should have left. Leaving meant losing _him_ though, I knew that I no longer had _him_ but I had a small piece of _him_; a piece that I didn't want to give up. I remembered the time when I didn't have him and I wasn't ready to go back to that time, so I stayed quiet.

_He_ no longer loved me; I knew this as _he_ would tell me every day before and after work. Before leaving _he_ would say, 'I hate you' and when _he_ did come home _he_ would say, 'God, do I hate you'. I would just take it, because no matter what, I still loved _him_.

There was a time when he would look me in the eyes before going to work and hold me and say how much he loved me. 'God, baby I love you so much it hurts', and when he would come home he would sweep me up, shower me with kisses and say, 'How I missed you so much, I love always and forever'. But those days were long gone.

It had been a year after I found out about the affair and I was getting tired of it all. I wanted to tell _him _that I couldn't take it anymore; that was when I found out that I was pregnant.

My period was late and I thought that it would come later, but it never did. So I went to the free clinic and the doctor told me that I was indeed pregnant. My world fell apart right then and there.

I didn't want to bring a child in this world with _him_, _he _no longer loved me. I was afraid for my baby. I loved it, even before I knew I had it.

I didn't want to tell _him_ about it, but I had no choice. When _he_ came home after one of _his_ 'meetings', I told _him_ that I was going to have a baby. _He_ had no expression, _he_ had no emotion, and_ he_ did not say anything. Instead _he_ proceeded for the door, to her place. But before _he_ left _he_ said over _his _shoulder, "Get rid of it" and left. _He_ did not come home that night or the night after that. _He_ didn't come home for a month.

During that month, I went to the clinic once a week; until the doctor told me that I didn't need to come every week. But I was reluctant not to, I loved my child more than anything in the world and I wanted him or her healthy. But the doctor assured me that all seemed well.

I decided that I was going to have a boy. I remember my mother telling me that she knew exactly what she was having, she said that it was 'mother's intuition' and I just knew from the pit of my stomach that it was a boy. I had wanted to name him, but decided against it because I knew if _he_ ever did come back then _he_ would be naming our child. So for the time being I called him 'My love'.

I talked to him daily, I read to him and sang to him. I was lonely but I had my son with me, so it made me happy.

Then one day _he_ showed up at the door, holding flowers. Apologizing for being late and like a moron I took _him_ back; I still loved _him_ after all. But _he_ was not happy when _he_ saw my small baby bump. It was then that _he_ left again, to see her I knew. But _he_ did come home that night and wrapped _his_ arms around me. It was then that I felt safe once again; with _his_ large hand draped across my stomach protecting our child. It was blissful.

He continued to see her, things continued the same as before, but now I found comfort in my son. When I would talk to my love he would kick, and it was the most amazing feeling to feel. It was weird to feel this bump on my stomach it was foreign, but I knew it was my love's way of letting me know that he loved me. I tried to get _him_ to feel our child but he wanted nothing to do it. "Look, you want this kid; I told you what to do it. You disobeyed; I don't want it so stay the fuck away from me." That's when he would go to her.

I never did get to wrap my arms around my baby. Five months had passed and I went into early labor, my baby was born December 31st 2005. He died January 1st 2006. My love was born prematurely and his lungs were not fully developed. I never got to see the sparkle of my baby's eyes, or feel his finger wrapped around my fingers.

_He_ never said anything to me on the way home, but I no longer cared. _He_ no longer loved me and I…I no longer had anything to live for. I still loved _him_ with all of my heart, but my child was not with me any longer and I felt a piece of me gone.

After dropping me home _he_ left again. Upon returning _he_ called me a murderer, a killer. _He_ said I had killed our baby because I was damaged. Like a fool I believed him, every word that spewed out of his mouth I believed. I did kill my baby; if I had been healthy I would have my son in my stomach. I would still be talking to him, singing to him, reading to him and he would kick to let him know that he loved me or that he heard me. And I….I killed him because I was damaged.

_He_ beat me that night, so bad I couldn't see out of my left eye. But I stayed quiet and took it, because I knew that it was true. I deserved it, every last bit of it.

Months went by and we never talked, except when _he_ was screaming and yelling at me, calling me names or when _he_ was hitting me. But through it all I still loved _him_.

_He_ came home one day extremely aggravated, _he_ beat me because there was a spoon on the table.

"I hate you so much; you are nothing but a pebble in my shoe. I wasted 11 years of my life with dirt, I am too good for you don't you understand that? This will be the last time you ever see me. I never want to see you again and don't you look for me, don't search for me. If you so much as think of me I will kill you." With that he left me alone, but not before spitting on me.

What he didn't know was this; I was going to kill myself anyway.

What I didn't know was I hated myself even before I knew I hated myself.

I had nothing to live for.

I had no friends.

I had no family, for _he_ had convinced me to leave them.

I had killed my baby.

This wasn't how my life was suppose to be, I was suppose to have the fairytale ending, big house, white picket fence 2 kids and a dog. HE would come home from work, I would have a home cooked meal on the table while HE plays with our kids. But instead I get an apartment, a cheating boyfriend, and I'm all alone.

I still loved _him_, but _he_ no longer loved me and for that I decided to kill myself and rid the world of my wasted space.

_HE probably wont even notice that I am gone, HE will be with her, and at least he is happy_

I cried out as I felt the pain in my wrists, I couldn't look for I would pass out if I saw the blood. The last word I ever said was the name of my first and only love; the name that would have belonged to my beautiful, perfect baby.

"Edward…"

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**This came out of no where, I was laying down waiting to fall asleep. And I just had this idea, and I tried to ignore it, but for some reason, my mind wouldn't let me forget it, so I just gave in. I just got out of bed and started writing, I wrote for three hours. Trying to get it all right. I hope that I did. I hope that you guys will like it. And if you do _please…please…please _review. I am not to proud to beg..**

**A/N: This story does have rape and abuse in it, and though I wrote about, I DO NOT..DO NOT condone it. It is horrible for someone to take advantage of someone else. Male or Female. Rape is one of the fastest growing crimes in the world, and it needs to be stopped. **

**Let me know what you think **

**REVIEW PLEASE**


	2. I still love her

**Ok so I know that some poeple wanted to have an EPOV, and other's didnt. I kind of just wrote this out of no where, it just wouldnt leave me alone. I've had it for a really long time and have just decided that I wanted to post so everyone can get _his _point of view... **

**Yes, it does contain dark thoughts. Just as it did in the first chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight, I just wrote this story.**

**P.S. I am posting this un'betad so please ignore the mistakes.**

* * *

Why did I love _her_ so fucking much? Why did _she _occupy my mind at all times? I knew the minute that I saw _her _heart-shaped face that _she _was the one for me. High School was where we met, High School was where all my dreams were answered; when this girl wanted me for some unknown reason. The moment that I laid eyes on _her _I was hooked. _Her _big brown eyes were all I could ever think about. I could swim in the ocean that was laid out upon me. I knew that I was not good enough for _her_, I knew with my reputation and my past, that I could never give _her _what _she _needed the most. I was someone that should be put away for good, someone who should never have laid eyes on this true beauty. But I knew that the moment our eyes connected, _she _had just signed _her _death sentence.

I remember when that dog followed _her _around like a long lost puppy, I fucking hated him with a passion. Who the fuck did he think he was asking my girl out on a fucking date? I saw red whenever he would talk to his friends about _her_. He would only ever say vulgar things. He asked _her _so many times to but _she _would nicely, and politely turn him down. Because that was just what my girl was, _she _was genuinely a nice kind hearted person. _She _usually made an excuse about how _she_ was busy and had other things to do, until one day he caught _her_ and _she_ had nothing left to say. So _she_ said the only thing _she_ could say.

Yes.

I was struck with such animosity towards both of them, him just for existing and breathing _her_ same air, and _her_ because _she_ was _**mine**_, _she _belonged to me no one else.

_Did she not know that?_

I followed him back to the locker room, where he was suppose to meet up with his boys, as he so eloquently put it. He told them about the place that he was going to take _her_, he told them all of the things that he was going to do to _her_. It took all I could to restrain myself from killing the little shit, and make him pay for what he just said. But I had a better idea.

He picked _her_ up in a shity old car and took _her_ out of the towns limits, to a club that was known for the drugs and alcohol as well as the entertainment that the place possessed. I followed them very discreetly waiting for my time to come in and save _my _girl from that pathetic excuse of a man.

He took _her_ into a room and he was finally alone with _her_, I hated to think about what would have happened if I hadn't of followed them, _my _beauty looked terrified, he didn't even see me coming. He went in and attacked the poor girl and I plummeted his ass. If he thought that I would allow anything to happen to _her_ he had another thing coming.

I grabbed _her_ before he could plunge his grotesque tongue down _her_ throat. I wanted _her_ out of the vicinity, before I did any damage to this wasted space. I didn't think that it was possible for _her_ to know who I was but their was reorganization, there was also what looked like relief. But I didn't pay to much attention to that I just wanted _her_ to be safely inside of and out of the realm of danger. I had a cab waiting outside of the club. I placed _her_ inside never really looking at _her_. _She_ wanted to say something to me, but I couldn't allow it, I knew the moment that _she_ would open _her_ mouth my resolve would fall, and I couldn't let that happen. So I silenced _her_ with my hand.

I went back into the club and beat the shit out of the fucker who thought could take advantage of something that belonged to me. I let him know exactly what was going to happen; if he so much as ever looked at _her_ ever again. He was only so willingly to oblige to such a simple command.

Afterwards I needed to find some release somewhere, being in her presence even only for a moment was detrimental for myself. I had held my guard up for such a long time, and all it took was one look from this girls brown eyes and I crumbled something that I had spent years on building a resolve that I refused to settle with. That was the first night that I began to hate the girl that cornered my every thought, every dream, and every wish. _She_ was the best and worst thing all wrapped up in one.

Months passed and I just couldn't stay away, granted I would watch _her_ from afar. I watched the way _she_ would laugh, how _her_ voice would get high when _she_ was angry, or when _she_ tried to casually ignore _her_ friends but never missed a beat. _She_ was beautiful and I wanted _her_ in every aspect of the way, but I knew that I could never have _her_, I would never be good enough for such and angel that roamed this earth. And for that I hated _her_ so much more.

We would stare at each other non-stop; those were the highlights of my days, really it was the only reason why I ever went to school just so I could be around _her,_ breath the same air and look into those melancholy eyes, that would set fire throughout my whole body. With just one look _she_ would ignite feelings that were never supposed to happen. And for that I hated _her_ all the more.

It was during one of our stares that I noticed a massive boy, I knew of him, his father was best friends with _her_ father, which only meant that my girl and him were best friends. I couldn't help it when my eyes could no longer look into _her_ depths. I knew then that I could never look at _her_ again because _she_ would no longer really be mine. And for that I hated _her_ all that much more.

They began to see more and more of each other, but that didn't stop me from looking at _her_ every chance that I got. _She_ never noticed because _she_ was always so caught up with the thing _she_ called a man. Granted, _she_ never seen me look at _her_ but that didn't mean that he didn't. Boy 'o' boy did he. It was the best feeling to know that I could piss him off without even talking to him, and beating him like I wanted to. His eyes would become a deadly black and his fists would clench. It would only excite me all the more, because I knew that deep down my girl still looked at me, whenever I wasn't really 'looking' back at _her_.

The summer was not the best time for me. I had nothing better to do, than to stay locked up in my room, and hate _her_ even more.

Who did _she_ think was being involved with such a lunatic?

Did _she_ not think I was good enough for _her_?

What was so good about him anyway?

I bet I could please _her _in ways _she_ never thought possible. That was when I began to have fantasies about the girl that plagued my dreams for so long. But that's also when my anger began to stew inside of me. And I began to have thoughts about _her_ that would send me back to jail, a place that I was not ever intending to go back to.

_She_ pissed me off to no end. My father would always come home with a story about how _she_ was hurt, needing stitches, or bandages. Did _she_ not care enough of herself to keep safe? And what about the idiot of a boyfriend wasn't he suppose to keep _her_ safe as well? I remember _her_ claiming that they were only friends and that was it, but I could see the devastation in his face, and I knew that he wanted more and that was exactly what he was going to do.

I became so infuriated with _her_ for _her _to be so careless with _herself _I began to visit my dad at the hospital. I told him I wanted to be a doctor, and that shut him up for a while. I was only ever there to see if I could catch a glimpse of my beautiful angel. And when it did happen I wished that I could send that mother fucking asshole six feet under the fucking earth. _She_ came to the hospital with blood trauma to the head. _She_ was knocked out unconscious covered in blood. The oaf came into the emergency room with _her_ in his arms, he was frantic he looked drunk but I couldn't tell, all I knew was he had _my _girl in his arms.

I rushed over to him and grabbed _her_ demanding to know what happened, he said something about a motorcycle accident but I couldn't be too sure I was too concerned about _her_ getting the care _she_ needed. My instincts wanted to throw him in front of a moving vehicle. Luckily my father pulled me from my thoughts. I don't know how it happened but somehow _she_ woke up, and called out my name. I was stunned into silence. it was the best and worst feeling that I have ever felt. Before I knew what I was doing I kissed _her_ soft pink lips. Only for a second; it did nothing but leave me wanting more, but before I could do more _she_ passed out again.

Later that night after making sure _she_ was safe, I went home and tore my room apart, I punched every surface not leaving one spot unscathed. My parents knew better than to mess with me now, only destruction could come of it. _She_ probably didn't even remember what happened, _she_ probably didn't even want to kiss me I was just as bad as that idiot who tired to force himself on _her_. And that's when I realized just how much I hated _her_, _she_ infuriated me to the point of no return, and what pissed me off even more was the simple fact that _she_ didn't even know _she_ was doing it.

My life was no walk in the park before _her_, in and out of the system, in and out of juvie. I had done some pretty fucked up shit, stuff that I still have nightmares about, shit that my parents would disown me for. Shit that I know _she_ would never approve of. And for that I hated _her_ all the more.

The rest of the summer I stayed hauled up in my room, contemplating my next move of ignoring the girl, it was maddening considering I hated _her_ so. Why did my mind always have to conjure up such emotions toward _her_. I was clearly not enough for _her_, otherwise we would have been something more.

When school started I vowed to myself that I wanted to be free of _her_, and nothing more, nothing less. But that turned out to be less than impossible considering we were in the same fucking classroom, and if that wasn't enough we had too fucking sit next to each other. It was so fucking wrong on so many different levels it was like the universe was out to get me. I needed to get out of _her_ space, I needed to get out right the fuck away, I knew that if I didn't leave soon than my life would be turned upside down. No sooner the bell rang I was out. I barely even registered the hurt look in _her_ eyes as I did it.

I hated _her_ so much.

_She_ became more withdrawn and I heard through the grapevine that _her_ and the oaf were dating and it was official. _She_ put on a good act in _his_ presence but I knew _her_ so well I knew it was all an act. We never talked during class unless it had to do with our assignments, and that was rare because either _she_ did the whole thing on _her_ own or I would. _She_ usually finished first, because I found it quite difficult to be in _her_ presence without losing thought.

I was home alone sitting in my room listening to music thinking about what it would be like to be with my beautiful girl. Thoughts of us together flashed though my head, walking on the beach holding hands, eating dinner together, family visits, making love, _her_ underneath me, writhing in pure ecstasy, screaming my name, but atlas that would never happen. Then my thoughts turned hateful as they so usually did, I hated _her_ for the way that _she_ made me feel, it was always a constant struggle with my mind and my heart I couldn't keep the two separate when I thought about _her_.

Drifting off too sleep, I was interrupted with a loud crash outside of my window. It sounded like two boulders crashing into one another, it was loud enough that it caused my whole body to tense, I ran to the window to see what it was, and what I saw made my blood run cold. It was _her_ motorcycle presently crashed in-between the tree and my silver car. I was terrified, though I began to hate _her_ I never wanted _her_ to die, never.

I ran outside now fully awake, hoping and praying that it wasn't my beautiful angel. Imagine my surprise when I seen _her_ imbecile of a boyfriend stuck in the middle of the motorcycle and car. He was covered in blood, and breathing harshly. His words were cut short and choppy, he needed help and he needed it now. I was going to call an ambulance but he started talking.

"Sh-she d-doesn't belong to -yyou" he paused to spit out blood.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I spewed out anger flooding my veins.

"I f-ffucked her…g-good and h-hard, show-ed her who she-she bbb-belongs to" he paused to regain his composure.

"Sh-she may-llo-ve y-you, bu-t n-now, s-she b-belongs to m-me, e-eeven as she begged me to stop I d-didn't " and the fucker had the audacity to laugh, as he spit out blood.

I had never in my 19 years of life wanted to kill someone so much as I did then and there. Before I could think twice about what I was doing. I blanked out, my fist connected with his face multiple times…

I thought about all that he had just said, he had forced himself on _her_?

He stole _her_ innocence.

He stole _her_ virtue.

He stole _her_ happiness.

He stole _her._

I punched for every tear _she_ shed.

For ever cry _she_ cried out.

For ever unhappy thought _she_ had.

The next thing I knew my father was pulling me off of him, yelling at me to stop, but I just couldn't he hurt _her_, in the most indescribable way possible. I was thrown to the ground and hauled off to my room, when the flashing lights flashed through my vision.

My hands were bloody with the devil's blood. I ran to the bathroom to clean myself from my sins and vowed to never again think back to this moment. I would never allow anyone to know what happened nor what was said. I would never regret my decision , even if it sent me back to jail.

School became harder and harder for both me and _her_. There was so much speculation about what happened between the three of us. So much so that I skipped out all of my classes except for my Bio 102 class only so I could see _her_. It was selfish of me because days were mostly hard for _her_ due to all that had happened the rumors were indescribable people had so many different stories, stories that would never make sense in the real world. The things that these people would say were beyond ridiculous, these people were suppose to be _her_ friends and yet they turned their backs on _her _when _she _needed them the most.. Making _her_ feel less than perfect. They talked behind _her_ back making _her_ feel ashamed over what had happened, some were not so nice about it, instead saying it right in front of _her_, calling _her_ names their mothers would be ashamed to hear.

But _she_ was strong and brave, I knew it was all for show, I knew the only reason why _she_ even got out of bed in the morning was for _her_ father. _She_ loved and cared for him. I heard my father talking to my mother about how _her_ father came to him begging for help, but their was nothing that he himself could do, except through medication and _she_ blatantly refused it. _She_ didn't show signs of getting better until _her_ father threatened to send _her_ away. Then _she_ 'tried' to better herself but it was only half-heartedly, and once again it was all an act.

It took all I had not to hold _her_, I wanted to comfort _her _through _her_ pain. But I was afraid. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if _she_ even wanted me too. I didn't know if I could even do it.

I had to watch _her_ for weeks withdraw into herself. I had to watch as _she_ slowly became someone that I could barely recognize. I just couldn't allow that to happen. I had been foolish as it was I needed to do something and quick.

I decided that I was going to do something about it. One day when I could see that it was one of the hard days, _her_ eyes were tearing, _her_ posture was slumped, _her_ head down and _she_ looked absolutely defeated, _her_ hair was shielding _her_. I just couldn't take it any more. I went to reach for _her_, and as if _she_ knew what I was going to do _she_ flinched away from me. It hurt so much to see this angel so broken. My angel.

"Don't hide, _please_ don't hide from me" I whispered.

I didn't even recognize my voice it was so foreign to me, but it did the trick because _she_ turned _her_ head and looked me straight in the eyes, it was the first time that I had ever spoken to _her_. I had only wished that I was able to help _her_ sooner.

_She_ fell into my arms and sobbed. _She_ sobbed and clutched onto my shirt leaving it stained with _her_ tears. Students were watching us like we were some kind of animal in a petting zoo. I picked _her_ up ignoring the stares and the calls coming from the teachers.

I took _her_ to the only place that I knew, the only place that would allow my thoughts to run with so much hope and love. The only place that I thought I could share with _her_. With what felt like hours her beautiful _eyes _finally fluttered open. I was afraid that _she_ would be upset that I had brought _her_ here, but that thought soon left my mind when I looked at _her_, I didn't see fear but rather _she_ looked happy, _she_ looked safe and loved? The latter emotion was what I could only hope for.

Before I could stop myself I began "I'm not leaving you, not ever."

"I'm sorry love; I shouldn't have left you like that. This is my fault, if I would have manned up and told you how I felt this never would have happened."

"This-" but I cut _her_ off.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of; you were the prey of a predator, one who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. I never did like him, but you were never mine to protect. I've loved you since the first day I saw you walk through those school doors. I knew that I was no good for you and so I stayed away from you, only keeping our stares, like our own private affair. But the day that _dog _came I knew you would be his, so I watched from afar. He always had this possessive stare over you and I knew he was bad, but there was nothing that I could do. I tried to stay away I really did. But I can't do it anymore. I love you, I want you to be mine and I yours."

"W-Why would y-you s-ay your no good for me?" this was something that _she_ would never know the answer to, no not ever. _She_ would be _mine _and I would not let anything get in the way of that, not who I was, and not anyone else.

That is exactly what I did, first it was _her_ mother, the psycho bitch claimed that we were around each other too much, _she_ claimed that I took too much of _her_ time, and didn't give _her_ enough breathing room. _She_ spewed lies and bullshit about how we acted with one another. How we were too dependant on one another, but what the fuck did _she_ know anyway right? We belonged together _she_ was just jealous of our relationship. When _she_ told me what _her_ mother said _she_ began to drift away from me, and that was something that I could and would not allow to happen. So I gave _her_ an ultimatum it was either _her_ mother or me. The funny thing was I knew the answer before _she_ even said it.

It was _her_ father that more or less demanded _her_ to break it off with me, I knew _she_ wasn't going to tell me about that particular conversation, and that pissed me off so much more than I thought possible. It was by accident of course, I was sneaking in _her_ room, _he_ had caught _her_ outside in the hallway telling _her_ that I was no good for _her_ and that _she_ needed to break up with me. He wanted _her_ to be _his_ little girl again. But what he didn't know was that _she_ didn't belong to him anymore, _she_ belonged to me and that was exactly how it was going to stay.

I made _her_ choose.

_She_ chose me.

Just like I knew _she_ would.

Right out of high school we moved in with each other, lived in an apartment I had more money than I could even count, we were set. But I went to college while _she_ stayed home and did the things _she_ did. _She_ didn't have friends they only served as a wedge between us, so I put a stop to it. We had a nice living arrangement, we were perfect for one another. But soon it became routine and I just couldn't take it anymore it was the same old same, it was not what I wanted anymore. Granted I still loved _her_, but it seemed as much as I loved _her_ the more I hated _her_. I didn't want that to happen but it did. The nightmares started later. I dreamt of the night I killed that _dog_, he would always come back in the same way. I would beat him to a pulp but it was like he would never die he just always came back, in the dream he would tell me that I wasn't good enough for _her_ and that _she_ could do better, and every time he would say it I believed it. And it only made me resent _her_ even more.

That's when it happened, a strawberry blonde moved next door to us. This girl was beautiful everything that I used to dream about before _her_. The girl-woman was everything that a man would wish for. The woman was everything that I didn't have, and everything that I wanted.

It started off as innocent flirting, it was always so innocent. It was the looks then the small touches. One day she asked me to help her with the cable, then hanging things up, fixing her toilet, her sink, her television. And every time I would go and every time we would end up _fucking_, and every time I enjoyed every minute of it, it was better than the last. It wasn't possible for me to regret what we were doing together.

The blonde was the one that pressured it, she was the one that insisted that what we had was purely fun and held no strings, she was the one that told me we could get away with it. I needed something to make myself feel again, the way _she_ used to make me feel, but even with this blonde it didn't help. So I seen her more and more, so much more that I couldn't get her off my mind, she consumed my every thought and I wanted _no _I needed her more than air. It was wrong but I told myself that _she_ was better off.

_She_ didn't know what was going on, how could _she_? _She_ would have been pissed if _she_ did, _she_ would have left me is _she_ did. I told myself that was what I wanted, but deep down I knew it wasn't the truth. _She_ confronted me about coming home late, and I became aggressive with _her_ for the first time, I smacked _her_, and it felt good.

I don't know why though.

It was the first time that I had ever beat _her_. I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't want too, but _she_ just fucked everything up, _she_ wasn't suppose to be home, _she_ told me _she_ was going to be gone the previous night so I thought that we would be safe from _her_ interrupting. But that was not the case at all. _She_ walked in when we were finished _she_ had a smile on _her_ face until _she_ seen what was on my body and that's when _she_ knew what happened. At that moment the blonde walked out of the bathroom, looking thoroughly fucked and shocked. My temper flared, flared even more when _she_ started to walk out the door, _she_ was mine and would not leave me…

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I yelled, I was too stunned to even contemplate what I was doing. I smacked _her_ in the face _hard. _

"I asked you a fucking question! God your such a dumb bitch! I hate you so much, it's not even funny. I don't understand you, you weren't supposed to be here for another hour, and you have just fucked everything up. Now I need to leave clean this mess up." The words just came out, they just wouldn't stop. I don't know what came over me, I just couldn't help myself.

I spat one her.

I left.

I left _her_ there to clean up my mess.

I left _her_ there to clean up our mess.

Alone.

I left the apartment and, and went to the blonde's place. I fucked her there right then and there with the door wide open, I wasn't gentle either. I made her scream, and she smacked me, but that didn't mean anything.

I was messed up myself; I deserved it. And if that wasn't enough, I went home and I raped the woman that I loved. I just don't know why.

It happened more than once, _she_ just didn't know how to stay the hell out of my way, _she_ just had to find us, _she_ just had to look so fucking sad all the time. It was all _her_ fault… At least that is what I told myself.

Then one day _she_ comes at me telling me that I'm going to be a father, and I just couldn't even think about it. I wouldn't be a good father, I couldn't even be a good boyfriend let alone a father, I'd corrupt it I'd kill it. So I told _her_ exactly what _she_ needed to do. I told _her_ to 'Get rid of it' and I left. I didn't come back for a month.

Most nights I spent my time in the bar, I didn't go to work I got fired because of it. I stayed with the blonde. She didn't complain though. But I needed more than her, I needed my girl back. I needed substance back into my life. When I went back to _her_ I expected to see _her_ stomach flat instead I could see _her_ once flat stomach replaced with a small bump, _she_ infuriated me all the more _she_ disobeyed me.

_Why couldn't she just listen to me?_

_She_ always wanted me to touch her damn stomach. Feel the kids kick, the kid that I didn't want. _She_ wanted it so she would have to live with it, take care of it. But I wasn't going to leave, no not ever.

Then one day _she_ called me from the hospital telling me that the baby was coming early. And something inside of me opened up, I wanted to have this child we could make a family, we could make a home I would be better for _her_. I would marry _her_ and we would raise this child with so much love. But that all changed when the doctors told me that _she_ had lost the baby. The baby that I now wanted, the baby that I now wanted to make a family with. It was too late. Too late to change anything.

I drove her home and went back to the blonde. She told me that it wasn't my fault, she told me that I did all I could to protect the child. She told me that it was all _her_ fault, _she_ killed my child. And I believed every second of it.

_SHE_ did kill my child.

I ran out of her apartment, back to ours and to find _her_ just sitting there staring into space after _she_ had killed my child it made me so angry, so infuriated. I did what she deserved to be done and beat _her_, I beat _her_ to the point where she could no longer see out of _her_ eye. But not once did _she_ cry or yell for me to stop, _she_ allowed it to happen.

It happened for months the same thing happened I just couldn't stop. Deep deep down I knew it wasn't _her_ fault, but my blonde was always there to remind me that it was.

I took it too far one day, all because of a spoon that laid on the table. And I let _her_ have it

"I hate you so much; you are nothing but a pebble in my shoe. I wasted 11 years of my life with dirt, I am too good for you don't you understand that? This will be the last time you ever see me. I never want to see you again and don't you look for me, don't search for me. If you so much as think of me I will kill you."

This time I didn't go to the blonde, I went back to our old high school back to where everything began, back to where I fell in love with _her_. I thought back to how much pain _she_ had always been in. And now I was the cause of this new pain. I then went to our meadow, thoughts flashed of our first declaration of love to one another, the first time we made love, how beautiful _she_ was; how much trust _she_ put into me. I went back to where it all began, and thought about how wrong I had been, how much torture that I put _her_ through.

That was when I decided I was going to set _her_ free from the evil that I was. I was going to break _her_ from the sin that I put _her_ through. I wanted to take away all of the pain that I had put _her_ through, I wanted to make amends for all of the crimes that I put _her_ through. I only prayed that _she_ would forgive me. My crimes were unforgivable, they could not have been forgiven. But my love was an angel, _she_ would give me another chance, _she_ had to… I only hoped that that was the truth.

The drive home was dreadful I had butterflies in my stomach with anticipation of what would happen. Before walking into my apartment, I was met with the blonde, she pushed me against the wall and kissed me, she kissed me hard. Her hands were all over me she touched every inch of my body. It just felt so good I didn't want it to stop but it needed to stop. I needed to stop for _her. _

That's exactly what I told the blonde. I told her we were through. She didn't like it very much, but I didn't care.

I walked into the apartment feeling dread, something was wrong. I searched and searched for _her_ still there was nothing. I finally stopped in front of the bathroom, in my gut I knew something was wrong. Slowly opening the door, I seen _her_, I seen _her_ lifeless slumped in the bathtub, blood surrounding _her_ beautiful body. This is what I did to _her_, this is what I had become… a murderer.

I killed the woman I loved.

I could see the bruises that marked _her_ body, all by my hands, I had no right to feel regret this was my fault.

My fault _she_ died.

My fault _she_ killed herself.

My fault our child died.

IT was all my fault.

I had taken everything away from _her_.

_Her_ mother.

_Her_ father.

_Her_ friends.

_Her _life.

But now it was too late. Too late to do anything.

My life was over now, I had nothing to live for and I wasn't going to live without _her_. It was better to live in a world knowing _she_ was alive than to live in a world where _she_ wasn't.

I pulled _her_ out of the tub and cleaned _her_ body of the blood. I dressed _her_ in _her_ favorite blue dress, a dress that I told _her_ I loved her in. The dress that I promised to take _her_ out in.

I didn't.

I deserved death. _She_…_she_ didn't _she_ deserved to be loved and _she_ put that love into me, and I betrayed _her_. I laid _her_ on our bed and hugged _her_ body crying for all that I had done.

"I am so sorry, I love you so much I know that I haven't showed you that. This is all my fault. I promise you that I never did it on purpose. You're my life my world. And I took advantage of that."

I only hugged her tighter.

"remember that one time when we went exploring on our meadow and we got lost. You were so scared you just started crying thinking we were going to get eaten by coyotes" I laughed remembering her face…

"remember what I told you, I told you I would protect you if anything ever came our way, you remember what you said to me? Hmm? You said 'I know! I trust you with my life, I always have. And always will. You're the only one that I could trust and I know that you would never hurt me.' oh…how I wish I could have kept that promise. I love you my beautiful girl."

I reached over and grabbed the bottle of pills, and laid next to my love, my heart, my soul.

I waited for the sleep to take me.

I waited to see my beautiful girl in our meadow that was where we would meet again.

"_Remember, if you ever get lost come to our meadow and I will come to you. I will never leave you, I will always come back." _

"_Promise?" she whispered _

"_Promise"._

* * *

**_Ok I know its really morbid, but really what did you expect? _**_He_**_ had his POV and _**_he_**_ wanted to share, who am I to object? _**

**_ANyway, please let me know what you think, please tell me if you like it or hate it. But please no bashing, if you hate it let me know but dont be mean. Thanks for reading!_**


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